Broken and Beautiful

Amazed. In awe of His wonders. Words powerful enough to describe my Lord are impossible to find, for the tongue can’t utter words that are great enough for Him. All of a sudden, in an instant, He turns my pain into tears of joy.

The pain came slowly but painfully. It crept upon me like a thief in the night and its roots were planted. And then all of sudden everything I looked to was lost. It had vanished like a dream that comes and goes. I had planted my security in things that wouldn’t last, and they didn’t. Every part of my human heart wanted to go back and cling to what I knew. But Christ was calling me to greater things. 

The sad thing was I didn’t even notice how messed up my life was until I lost my worldly security and comfort. But God sees my heart for what it really is. And He saw things that needed to change. 

For too long, I’ve relied on people’s opinions and praise. In these alone did I find my comfort and my idol. And Christ saw it. He knew it from the beginning and has carried out His plan to eliminate it. 

My life had slowly been sinking into one of the most dangerous pits of them all. Because when pride enters the heart, it sinks deeper than we know. DO NOT LET YOURSELF FALL INTO THIS PIT. Because I’ve been there and I know what it’s like. It’s painful. And I can tell you with all my heart that you don’t even want to linger in this sin.

But I take delight in this, that Christ saw fit to rescue me. 
 

As soon as God revealed it to me, I desperately began praying and seeking Him. I couldn’t bear the thought of my sin. It became such a heavy burden that it sucked away my joy. And I didn’t know what to do. So I prayed. I asked God to change my situation for His glory. Over and over these words were uttered, but still, I was lost. I had allowed myself to sink too far into the pit that it was physically impossible to escape. But God saved me by His great grace.

And then quicker than the sin had entered, it was taken away and nailed to the cross. 

He said, “I forgive you and I love you” and as I heard these words, I was broken. Because I had nailed Him to the cross.

I felt like falling on my knees and crying out to Him. Because, especially when you’ve fallen so far, you see how clearly you need Jesus in your life. And oh how I need Him! I can no longer rely on people’s praise to satisfy my soul…ONLY CHRIST CAN. 

Even in all this, He was willing to forgive me and love me. In my anguish I called to Him and he answered by setting me free (Psalm 118:5). He took my burdens and made them my joy. He healed my brokenness and replaced it with a deeper love and appreciation of Him.

And although the steps back up out of the pit have been extremely painful, I praise God for every step along the way. I know that He has meticulously planned every part to change my life. I thank Him for the pain that has brought me closer to kneeling before Him on the cross. I can see myself walking away from these chains that have been holding me and into the new life that Christ blesses to those who love Him. 

Job 33:28
He redeemed my soul from going down to the pit, and I will live to enjoy the light.’

2 Comments

  1. July 19, 2014 / 6:34 pm

    Thank you so much, Livy! Your prayers and encouragement mean a lot!

  2. July 19, 2014 / 6:18 pm

    Rachel! This is so beautiful. <3 I’m a fan already. 🙂
    It’s such a joy and pleasure to see what God is doing in your life. Know that I am praying for you as He leads you out into the wonderful adventures He has for you.
    I will be following your blog! :

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